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"Any Questions" - Ed's journal
"Any Questions"
It seems to be increasingly common to finish a briefing, meeting or presentation with the line
"Any Questions?"

So I need to find cringe inducing response to this simple query.

My first few include:

"Why does it hurt when I wee?"
"How many beans make 5?"
"Where do babies come from?"
"What's a clitoris?"

Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to think of further cringe inducing questions.
6 comments or Leave a comment
mrph From: mrph Date: June 6th, 2004 02:45 am (UTC) (Link)
"Why is your kneecap ticking?"
deathboy From: deathboy Date: June 6th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC) (Link)
What's the difference between a duck?
drivenapart From: drivenapart Date: June 6th, 2004 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Is it true that Lipsyl can help soothe a chapped anus?
Why are you such a tit?
Can we play "Strip Buzzword" now?
Is that your hair or have you given a home to a legless gopher?

nuala From: nuala Date: June 6th, 2004 05:10 am (UTC) (Link)
Can we have a keg at the next meeting?
Is it wrong that I find my brother attractive?
Can anyone recommend a good plant fertilizer?
Where exactly IS the G-spot?
Does this smell funny to you?
I was thinking of getting my clit pierced, could anyone recommend a good piercer?
Did anyone else see the UFO and the flashy lights last night?
Does the budget department know you're holding meetings about THIS?
From: apostle13 Date: June 6th, 2004 05:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Another counter-strategy to this classic endgame follows a fractionally more subtle approach.

"Anybody else smell gas?"
Note: for maximum effect, must be said with sufficient ambiguity so as to lie exactly halfway between literal and figurative meanings.
Alternatively try "What's a question?" or perhaps "Depends on the answers."
Another awkward one is "Can you just answer me, yes or no?", making sure not to reference another question.

With regard to cringe inducing:
"What's the plural of penis?" (and clitoris too, to cover equal-opportunity policies)
"What's your position on homosexuality?"
Your suggestion of "Where do babies come from?" gets a solid vote from me though.

Another one to try is "How many words did I just use in this completely arbitrary question?"
And of course old ones can be good ones too: "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

ehrine From: ehrine Date: June 7th, 2004 07:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Baring in mind that you are one of the people who'll be uttering the "Any questions?" line from time to time, perhaps you should also consider collecting cringe inducing answers to these ;)
6 comments or Leave a comment