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Interdependance - Ed's journal
I realised something today.
I don't like being dependant on someone else.
Today I got a lift to tescos to get some shopping. And it seems strange, but I felt uneasy doing so.

Which is odd, because the other way round, I'd have been quite comfortable.

I think I've figured something out. I don't like owing a debt to someone who I'm not sure I could repay. I guess it's one of these karmic balance things. I don't like asking for a favour from someone, because whilst in many cases I'm aware that I'd be able to, I don't want to inconvenience. I think it's because I don't like to be thought of as a burden, or a 'taker'.

There's the old adage that "A friend in need, is a friend indeed". But putting it to the test is not something that a friend would do.

The problem is, that neither actually make for a growth in friendship. Any relationship is about giving and taking.
I don't think that giving but not taking is any better than taking but not giving. At one extreme you have a parasite. At the other a loner.

One of the cornerstones of friendship, I believe, is the ability to help someone who doesn't need it.

A friend in need is an opportunity to show worth.
A friend who is not, is an opportunity to show friendship.

It's the acceptance, acknowledgement and respect of the fact that they could accomplish a task, but to go along and help out anyway. Because you enjoy their company, and because it makes an onerous task less so, that is the very essence of a friend.
2 comments or Leave a comment
crashbarrier From: crashbarrier Date: April 7th, 2004 05:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
friends are important to me. i think mainly cos as i grew up i had so few of them. if i could i would move the world 2 inches to the left if i thought it would help a friend.

many hands may make light work but i find many friendly hands make work float..
lillaceyes From: lillaceyes Date: April 7th, 2004 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
I understand so very well what you mean. I am a very independent person. When i was sick and had to have the surgeries i had. I had to depend on freinds and familly and I was goin insane. They had to keep me from goin into a depression because I hated that I had to have help.

I am the kind of person that wants to help everyone else. To have to be the one needing the help was terrible to me. But i learned you can help everyone but its okey that they help you as well. It has made me grow as a person and also to help me see that giving is great but takin back a lil bit isn't so bad either.

Just always remember the lline and never cross it for the taker of hell part *laughs* Anyway, Don't feel like your a mooch just cause you have to get help once in a blue moon.

Thats what freinds are for. to be there to help when you need it. Just as you are there to help when they need it.

*smiles wavies and walks off*
2 comments or Leave a comment