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I hate talking to people on the phone - Ed's journal
sobrique
sobrique
I hate talking to people on the phone
This might sound a little odd, but I really dislike talking to people on the phone.
I don't actually mind when talking face to face - because I can see their body language.
And I don't mind doing so over 'text' like email or whatever - because I can take my time to say what I mean.

But over the phone, I just get ... uneasy, and so will _tend_ to keep conversations short.

Does that make me wierd?
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Comments
hedya From: hedya Date: December 8th, 2009 10:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, I know at least another person with the same idiosyncrasy, which has dogged much of the time we have known each other: mavnn.

So even if you are weird you are not alone.
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 8th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
I used to hate talking to people on the phone. There were several times when I was younger when I would get agitated when I had to call someone.

Despite being an email admin, I would prefer to have a phone call with someone than communicate via email. Although I tend to text people more than I call them. Recently I have tried to change this, by calling a few people in response to their texts instead of texting back.

Having the time to formulate a reply can be a problem for me as I keep on changing the text until I am happy with it. Written text can be taken several ways without the aids to comprehension of body language, tone and pace. I know how text can be misread so I read almost everything back which takes a long time. This is why my posts and comments to LJ, and my presence on IRC, is fairly scarce.

At least with a phone call you can carry on explaining something until the other person gets it.

Voicemail is hateful though, half a conversation with an idiot is usually what it ends up as. They will either give you far too much information or not enough and you cannot interrupt them when they are talking drivel.

Crikey, this is probably the longest thing I have posted to LJ in a very long time. (and it took me less than half an hour)
zaitan From: zaitan Date: December 8th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Although I should probably login first when posting!
mrph From: mrph Date: December 8th, 2009 11:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Depends on the context - I know a lot of people who feel the same way as you.

I'm... mixed, I think. I can (and do) chat for hours on the phone to some people if given a chance, but a hint of uneasiness can easily derail the whole thing.
ehrine From: ehrine Date: December 8th, 2009 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
A while ago, Jeremy Clarkson did a series of programs about "inventions that changed the world" and one of them was on the telephone. Mr Clarkson, like you, dislikes talking on the phone and was told that it's actually a fairly common trait, especially amongst men. It's one of the reasons why it is a shame that video phones/calls haven't taken off as it gives that extra connection that is lacking to make a phonecall "comfortable".
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fishrgreat From: fishrgreat Date: December 9th, 2009 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)
I think it's fairly common. I dislike talking to someone I don't know, but otherwise it;s ok. My mother and grandmother however keep calls to a max of about five/ten minutes. They just don't seem to get on with it as much.
anna_taylor From: anna_taylor Date: December 9th, 2009 09:18 am (UTC) (Link)
If you weird then so am i. I dislike talking to people i don't know on the phone and even if i know the person on the other end it is usually a short 5/10min conversation if that.

However i do have a strange trait in that i am comfortable to ring people when it has something to do with work or has nothing to do with me. I think this stems though from school bullying and being shy :)
crashbarrier From: crashbarrier Date: December 9th, 2009 08:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
when you are at work you have your work face on.. so it;s not "you" phoning
jorune From: jorune Date: December 9th, 2009 10:04 am (UTC) (Link)
I think it is fairly common but something that has a measure of nature/nurture to it. If you work in an environment where any phone call is liable to be stressful, reporting problems or dealing with a faceless bureaucracy then projecting feelings of alienation onto the telephone is a possible outcome.
cbr_paul From: cbr_paul Date: December 9th, 2009 10:15 am (UTC) (Link)
I absolutely despise it! Working in our IT department, I have to occassionally man the phones rather than do any real work and waiting for the thing to ring every couple of minutes is almost like a form of psychological torture for me.
chess From: chess Date: December 9th, 2009 02:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really hate talking to people on the phone (although I'm a lot better than I used to be). I think it's because I feel I'm expected to be able to pick up more nonverbal cues than I am over text - over text, everyone's on a level playing field - but not having the full range of information available I have even less chance than usual to get it right.

It has that bad combination of no-instant-feedback 'did I say something wrong' paranoia and the possibilty of expectation of picking up social cues that I just won't get.
crashbarrier From: crashbarrier Date: December 9th, 2009 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah I think I know what you mean. to me a phone is for "hi, I am doing this want in? or How big are your shoes? or something like that. kind of things. conversations is what you do in social environments..
erjholton From: erjholton Date: December 9th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hate using the phone, and avoid it if possible.

But generally, it isn't possible, so I just live with it.
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