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Fading away - Ed's journal
sobrique
sobrique
Fading away
Every now and then, the world seems distant.
Things ... have less substance, and things familiar seem strange. Nothing has
changed, but everything is wrong.

And in all this, deep within, I feel remote. Detatched and isolated from all
that is around me. Like a small mote of light in darkness. Casting a small
pool of reality around, but not really penetrating into the shadows.

It feels strange, as if so many things surge together at once, and fill with
potential - that anything that is, can be changed... If I could just bring
myself to care enough to change it.

And the wave of voices around me flow like a burbling river of noise. All
these people, all so intent and serious, and yet I'm standing out amongst
them. As if I'm the one wearing brilliant colours at a funeral. I don't fit
in. I cannot connect.

These things I could change. I could walk away, into the unknown of the
future, and find a new path. Would it be a better path? Or just a different
path? I cannot know, the choice is a blind one.

But I won't. I'll sit back down at my desk, talk to someone, and somehow
reconnect with this world around me. Moving back into synchronicity with the
world around me, no longer as a dischordant element.

Until next time.
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Comments
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sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 14th, 2008 12:49 am (UTC) (Link)
This is unreleated to employment news (or lack thereof)
pope_ant From: pope_ant Date: November 14th, 2008 10:44 am (UTC) (Link)
I like this - I think it is well written.
I feel that sometimes (mainly the walking away and starting again bit).
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