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Feelings - Ed's journal
Do you ever get that feeling of being detatched from the world around you? That the things you see are not entirely real? That the things you hear have no meaning, and are just noise?

Where you're afraid to reach out and touch something, for fear that your hand might pass through it, but when you do, you find that it's worse - your hand does touch it, but it's meaningless.

And you start to wonder if you're just surrounded by a world of shadows, where everything seems there, and yet incomplete. Not entirely real. Pictures on a screen, or tracks in the sand. A sign that something might be there, but isn't quite at the moment.

Or that people around you are moving, and doing, and living, but yet somehow also completely lacking in emotional context? All these things are yet things, that have no independant existance above and beyond that of leaves in the wind?

And you go. You drive, you move. Those things there still seem irreal, but you can't quite figure out where the boundary lies, between what is real within you, and what is not. Or indeed, if one exists at all.

Might it not be a horrible thing to be a ghost in a world full of ghosts, and never quite be sure of it?
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From: linamishima Date: June 12th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
ash1977law From: ash1977law Date: June 12th, 2008 05:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Might it not be a horrible thing to be a ghost in a world full of ghosts, and never quite be sure of it?

Or a wonderful thing. The world is chaos. There is no Order and no Disorder apart from that which we impose upon the universal Chaos by beleiving it to be so. There is no difference between you and me and a 1000-year gone thunder-struck tree and a star in a far off galaxy because Everything is Everything. It is only thinking that makes it so, that differentiates this from that. In a way that makes us gods, because we give meaning to the meaningless, creating something from nothing simply by observing the world.

In other words: cheer up you gloomy bugger. It could be worse, you could be an Arse-Weavil
warmage From: warmage Date: June 12th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Have you ever read any of R. Buckminster Fuller's essays? Maybe you'd like to seek out his book, The Critical Path.

The reason I bring this up is because somewhere around the age we are now, he was foundering on the edge of this kind of precipice. He was wrestling with the concepts that everything we purport to know is illusion, all facts are mutable, and that when you take someone at their word - you assume along with it everything that person holds as truth and the rigors so applied from their perspective as well as your own.

Is it any wonder the guy nearly topped himself? Your use of the semi-word "irreal" brought this to mind. Bucky coined many semi-words himself, because dammit, that's what he meant and he wasn't about to be badgered into "acceptable" uses of English.

and also, you're not and Arse-Weevil.
kalkyrie From: kalkyrie Date: June 12th, 2008 06:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
Quite often. I tend to commonly visit the 'brain in a vat' mental state, where you feel that the world and your physical body are distinctly separate from yourself.
Of course that doesn't mean things in the outside world don't have meaning. These 'humans' walking around could also be brains in vats for all I know.

In short, there is a reason I'm spending a lot of time with mathematics and other 'unreal' subjects. When it comes right down to it, I don't think I fully believe the physical world is real. This links in to Gnostic beliefs that the physical world is merely a prison for the mind.
siryel From: siryel Date: June 12th, 2008 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
So very regularly it's scary.
It's just like the walking 2 inches behind myself. There's my body, and then there's consciousness. Me is someone else I'm observing.
I haven't decided which is he freakiest
crashbarrier From: crashbarrier Date: June 12th, 2008 09:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh yeah... you read my blog
jorune From: jorune Date: June 13th, 2008 08:10 am (UTC) (Link)
That's the world of corporate services, an alice through the looking glass realm of fun and fantasy.
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