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Interview Questions, Part 3 - Ed's journal
Interview Questions, Part 3
The question was:

"Why do you want to work for this company?"

The answers were:

"Because food and rent cost money" ('Duh' optional)

"Because I heard you wouldn't mind me stealing stationary."

"Because I already live in the basement, and I wanted a shorter walk to work."

"I was struck with awe at the elegance and beauty of your website."

"I applaud your attitude to smoking in the workplace. Now, do you supply them or do I bring my own kippers?"

"I believe the company ethos fits my ideal work-place environment,, while the skills I could bring to the role could help strengthen the company while providing me with ways in which I could increase my knowledge base and eventually become more cost-efficient and have an increased worth within the department. Besides I think I stand a good chance of shagging you."

"Because it's cold outside and you have central heating."

"Because I feel i have a number of skills I could offer the company, but you also offer many oppertunities for peronal development. Thats what you told me to say in bed last night wasnt it?."

"Ive seen the film Wall Street, of course I want to work for a city bank, when do i pick up my farrari by the way?"

"The voices... they told me to come and talk to you. I see you like the colour yellow, I like yellow it's a happy colour. I think it's important to be happy don't you? Not like Red, it get messy, the red it flows and flows why won't it stop..."

For a job in the police:
"You get to beat up on black people am I right?"

"Because I was hoping you are stupid enough to hire me."

"Two words: Expense Account"

"I'm a masochist"

"The free T-shirts"

"I feel that I could leverage the synergies implicit in a new process/technology focus."

The next question, to which I seek your answers and input is:

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?"

To start with:

"Well, on a beach in Hawaii would be good."

(Questions still to be dealt with:
"When you consider your last piece of work how can you have done that better?"

"Tell me about a time when you had a problem with one of your colleagues, why was that and how did you resolve it?"

OR your colleague had a problem with you.

"How much do you want to be paid?"

Suggestions for others appreciated)
5 comments or Leave a comment
drivenapart From: drivenapart Date: January 20th, 2005 01:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Standing above you, laughing maniacally, as you attempt to claw your way up the basement steps."

"Somewhere where my uncontrollable flatulence won't offend my co-workers."

xarrion From: xarrion Date: January 20th, 2005 02:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Well, I'm glad you asked! *pulls out a flipchart*. Here's me now, represented by this stickman. This where I see myself in a day, which I like to call day Tminus1825. Don't speak, I know about the lack of detail, but I could only fit one month per page..."

"I'm blind, asshole!"

From: dj_rws Date: January 20th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?"

"Hopefully still not having this interview with you."
xarrion From: xarrion Date: January 20th, 2005 07:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Another nice question I was asked in my interview: "You've been temping here for a while now - what would you say are the biggest mistakes you've made so far?"
crashbarrier From: crashbarrier Date: January 21st, 2005 04:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
"Tell me about a time when you had a problem with one of your colleagues, why was that and how did you resolve it?"

They played a practical joke on me.

So I had to cut off their hands gouged out their eyballs and setfire to their ears.

5 comments or Leave a comment