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Spurious crap - Ed's journal
Spurious crap
You know it's going to be a bad day, when your arrival to work is greeted by an 'RFP'. A Request for Proposal(or something similar).
Basically, it's document that is the 'start point', for getting quotations from suppliers.

These are thing that I greet with horror. You see, they're typically stunningly boring, power-point-esque affairs. But to gloss over them, means that you'll end up shafted down the line, because you didn't spot the blatantly erroneous assumptions that they were basing the project on.
Or worse, the corporate political bullshit tied into it.

And so I greet this one with dismay, but with the faint optimism that this will be a project that I will enjoy, and won't make my life a living hell. (They do exist, I've had a couple go that way ;p)

Nope. It's a great big steaming pile of shite. The conslutancy group brought in by the particular IT 'Director' (I use the term loosely, because in much the same way as some companies have lots of Vice Presidents, we have a real steaming load of 'Directors') have produced 20 pages of waffle and bollocks, along with one page of frankly spurious numbers.

They are 'helping' us redesign our storage infrastructure, to fit in with their latest buzzword of ILM - Information Lifecycle Management. Which essentially means a load of proprietary kit, and a 'management heavy' system. (Why yes, this _is_ in the 'open' specification to all suppliers, and yes, it is supplier specific. Why do you ask?).

The problem is, they've only gathered the bare minimum of information about our site, and so their specification is just not good. 10% data growth over 3 years is really Just Not going to happen. Our backups alone increase by 10% each year, because of tape retention.

The problem is this: It's backed by a 'Director'. That means there's office politics in play. If he looks like a retard, then this is a Bad Thing, and the mess will be strewn around.
And me, being lowly IT geek, cannot possibly know better than the combined idiocy of conslutants and directors.
And so, in order to avoid having my life made hell for the next year, with this amazingly ill-concieved project, I have to refute it. But because I'm just lowly geek, and Not an Important Person, I will have to present them with the kind of counter case that'll stand up in a court of law.
For all 300 servers within the scope.
By the end of this week.

12 comments or Leave a comment
paulw From: paulw Date: November 2nd, 2004 01:37 am (UTC) (Link)
lol. Should have done what we do. Nod your head and let them get on with it. We've only been waiting 2 years for their idiot project to get started!! Next April is the next target date for a kick off. *points* Look, a pig flying!
sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:47 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh stuff starts here. About 10% finishes.
Sometimes because it just fell apart.
Sometimes because it was a bag of poo and no one could be bothered to finish it off.
Occasionally, you have a good one, but that doesn't finish either - because everyone starts using it, and so feature reqs, redesigns etc. start piling in as the world wants their Input. (and name in the credits).
warmage From: warmage Date: November 2nd, 2004 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
No way should you ever let something like that slide, not without at least talking to your boss about how shite it is.

I'd rather be fired for opening my mouth instead of getting fired for not being able to be the two- or three-person management group the new storage media will likely require because the implementation is the IT equivalent of a five-assed monkey.
sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:43 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh people don't get fired here for expressing a professional opinion. They just get side-lines as 'non-cooperative' and left out of the project.

This often has the effect that the laughable design team is made up of non-techie yes-men who then dump shit on us going 'so implement that then bee-atches'.
warmage From: warmage Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:50 am (UTC) (Link)
...at which point you pull out your no-stack and say "Not until you tell me how I'm supposed to solve X," depending on how big and loud your balls are when they clang together.

Too often the IT world is left to languish. We're like Dozers from Fraggle Rock; blending into the background until the Fraggles fuck it up for everyone and need Dozer know-how to unfuck themselves.

Sick sick world.
sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Problem is, "it'll never work" doesn't cut it. You can get small stuff shitcanned that way, but every now and then, the same process happens at 'corporate HQ'. And then we get a space corp directive, that we must implement.

Admittedly, quite a lot of those are implemented on a comparison of the pain of implementing, vs the pain of getting whinged at by every management level bod for the next x years.
warmage From: warmage Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Death to Luddites. We must begin plans to subjugate the non-technical and ascend to our true calling - The Church of Technology calls you to its seminary, Brother Ed.

Just imagine it now, endless throngs grovelling their obeisance (and tithes!!) to the Deus In Machina we have wrought for them to worship.

And then we make it *eat* them. Oh yes.
sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 2nd, 2004 10:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Hah, I'll sign up to that.

If only to stop the 'here's a badly designed piece of wank, and you don't look clever enough to understand this. So here you go, here's the admin passwords, go and implement it'.
warmage From: warmage Date: November 2nd, 2004 10:05 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeah dude if you really want to feel the flexure of your mental muscle in a far-flung setting, read the Foundation series again, though admittedly it's not till late in the second book that it has that really meaty CoT plot.
From: sebbo Date: November 2nd, 2004 04:45 am (UTC) (Link)
are you allowed to drink beer at work??? this sounds like the sort of crap where they should try and force you to drink beer at work to make up for all the crap :)
sobrique From: sobrique Date: November 2nd, 2004 09:45 am (UTC) (Link)
Drink beer at work? No.

'least, not officially. You get sacked for that.

Of course, the only time they get _really_ upset is if you're doing 'critical' stuff. Like operating a crane, configuring some valuable servers, that kind of thing ;p
xarrion From: xarrion Date: November 2nd, 2004 02:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
We've pretty much got the same problem, different perspective, at the moment. A business-wide application runs thru' Lotus Notes. Support for Lotus Notes is withdrawn at the end of the year.

18 months ago, they started work on the replacement. Last month it was put into testing status. The testers found that not only did it lack most of the features they had requested a year ago, but the whole system fell over if 6 people were logged on at once.

Last week they scrapped it and started entirely from scratch. Testing for this 'new' version ends on Friday :/
12 comments or Leave a comment